Each month we introduce you to someone who has made the dream of picking up and moving to the Bel Paese a reality. In their own words they share the good parts, the bad parts and the just plain absurd moments of day-to-day life in Italy.
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Deirdr? Straughan, 39, US passport.
Writer, with lots of experience in Web marketing, online customer service/support, etc.
Hobbies: Reading, writing my own Web site and newsletter (<http://web.tiscali.it/deirdres/>), family, cooking, fine dining.
Deirdre_straughan@hotmail.com
Currently living in: Milan for the last 10 years.
By way of: Born in New Orleans. Subsequently lived in Beaumont, TX; Honolulu; Bangkok, Thailand; Pittsburgh, PA; Norwalk, CT; Dhaka, Bangladesh; Mussoorie, India (boarding school); Santa Cruz, CA; Austin, TX; Varanasi, India; Washington, DC area; New Haven, CT. For more details, see http://web.tiscali.it/deirdres/tcks.html
My career is even harder to explain, so, again, a URL: <http://web.tiscali.it/deirdres/whatido/resume.html>
How (or why) did you get here from there?
Married an Italian (whom I met while he was in graduate school in the US). Before I met him, I had never been to Italy (barely been to Europe), and had no interest in Italy at all. If I?d gone out looking for a husband, it would not have occurred to me to look for an Italian mathematician!
What role did language skills play in your experience?
You definitely need to speak Italian to live a fulfilling social life among Italians. Many Italians speak English, but if there are two or more Italians in a group, no matter who in the group speaks English or doesn?t, the Italians will always speak Italian. So learn to speak Italian, or you?ll find yourself being lonely in a crowd.
I started taking Italian classes in the US, soon after meeting Enrico, but didn?t really speak it until I spent a month in Rome without him, with my in-laws, when our daughter was an infant. My mother-in-law speaks no English, so I had to speak Italian!
My spoken Italian made another great leap when I got my first job in Milan. The boss did not tell me he spoke any English (I found out afterwards that he did, perfectly well), so I was forced to speak Italian at the office all day.
Your biggest challenge:
Living in the same city ? even the same apartment! ? for 10 years is far and away a record for me. It?s been very hard to learn to stay in one place. I have to travel a lot to keep myself from going insane.
What did you do to feel at home or adapt here?
As a third-culture kid (see <http://web.tiscali.it/deirdres/tcks.html>), one of my survival skills is feeling more or less at home almost anywhere ? except my ?native? country, the US. Italian culture turns out to be a happy medium between the Asian cultures I grew up in and the American culture of my family, so Italy has mostly been easy for me to adapt to.
However, much as I love Italian food, I also like variety. I have yet to find a decent Indian restaurant in Italy, so I had to learn to cook Indian food myself. My next culinary ambition is to learn Thai cooking.
What do you still have to get used to/learn?
The post office. I absolutely hate going to the Italian post office. Services and processes have improved over the years, but still leave a lot to be desired. As a result, to date, I have never actually mailed a package from Italy. (The time I arrived at the post office and found a robbery in progress also rather put me off.)
Compare an aspect of your home town (or other place you’ve lived) to current town.
I spent a lot of time in California over the last six years (for work), and one thing I love about it are the rigorous anti-smoking laws. Way too many people smoke in Italy, and most are not considerate about it.
Latest pursuits:
Building a steady client base for freelance work (said she hopefully). Accompanying my daughter to riding school. MBA course.
A preconceived notion about Italians/Italy that is not true:
That they?re all interested in ?la dolce vita? above all, and therefore are not hardworking. Many of them are actually very good at both working hard and playing hard. They?re just smart enough not to take their work with them on vacations.
A preconceived notion about Italians/Italy that is true:
Family above all!
Your response to the following question: “I really want to live here, but I don’t speak Italian or have a job. What do you think?”
Living in a country is not at all like spending a vacation there, and the reality can be a rude shock. Especially if you haven?t lived outside your native country before, leave yourself an escape clause: try it as an experiment for 6-12 months and see how you really like it before you commit for the rest of your life.
How would you sum up your Italian experience in a word (and why)?
Home. My life and my family are here, and it?s unlikely I?ll ever live anywhere else again.