The Italian preoccupation with cheating (colloquially known as “corna”) seems endless. A recent study of 500 cases of adultery conducted by the Italian branch of the International Society of Psychoanalysis discovered that Italian women are less vindictive–if their husband has an affair with an ‘incredibly beautiful’ woman. Husbands involved in trysts with ‘ordinary’ or ‘ugly’ women should watch out–apparently wives are likely to seek revenge. “If a husband loses his head for a stunner, wives are more willing to take a serious look at their own shortcomings or other problems in the relationship,” according to an unnamed expert in Italian daily Il Giorno. “Otherwise it’s like saying: how could you cheat with someone less attractive than I am?” Try out your Italian with this semiserious quiz –be forewarned that pessimism reigns…. Happy Valentine’s day! Il traditometro (Italian): Cheat-meter (Rough Translation):

1. Non lo perdoneresti mai, se lui ti tradisse:
a) con la tua migliore amica
b) con il suo migliore amico
c) con la vicina di casa

 

1. You’d never forgive him if he cheated on you…
a) with your best friend
b) with his best friend
c) with the next-door neighbor

2. Pensi che lui ti tradirebbe…
a) per non perdere la sua fama da conquistatore
b) per sesso
c) per amore

 

2. You think he might cheat…
a) to uphold his reputation as a ladies’ man
b) for sex
c) for love

3. Secondo te, per lui il tradimento rappresenta…
a) un puro sfogo ormonale
b) qualcosa che bisognerebbe cercare di evitare
c) una forte mancanza di rispetto nei confronti della propria compagna

 

3. You think cheating is for him…
a) pure hormonal release
b) something to be avoided
c) demonstrates lack of respect for his partner

4. Ti confessa una scappatella. Tu…
a) gli cominci ad elencare le tue
b) lo perdoni, ma pensi subito a come fargliela pagare
c) lo lasci

4. He confesses a fling. You…
a) start counting off yours
b) forgive him, but immediately start thinking how to get even
c) leave him

 

5. Incominci ad avere sospetti se…
a) esce di casa per tre sere di seguito
b)assume una nuova segretaria e fa tardi la sera
c) inizia una cura dimagrante e si tinge i capelli

5. You start being suspicious if..
a) he goes out three evenings in a row
b) hires a new secretary and comes home late
c) goes on a diet and dyes his hair

 

6. Riappare dal passato una sua ex…
a) lui comincia a frequentarla assiduamente
b) te ne parla serenemente e ti propone di conoscerla
c) la considera una storia finita. Ora ama te.

6. An ex of his comes back on the scene…
a) he sees her regularly
b) he calmly mentions her & asks if you want to meet her
c) he considers it history. He loves you now.

 

7. Ti fa un regalo inaspettato:
a)pensi che debba farsi perdonare qualcosa
b) sei felice, ti piaccono le sorprese
c) hai paura di esserti dimenticata qualche rincorrenza

7. He gives you an unexpected gift:
a) he has something to hide
b) you’re happy, you love surprises
c) you worry you’ve forgotten an anniversary

 

Risultati: Il tuo lui è: Results: Your man is:

Maggioranze di risposte A: Gigolò

Se la natura dell’uomo è cacciatore, il tuo compagno dispone di un vero e proprio arsenale. Per lui la seduzione è una ragione di vita e la donna una preda da acciffare a qualsiasi costo. E’ vero che per amore si può arrivare ad accettare qualsiasi compromesso, ma sei sicura che il tuo sia proprio vero amore?

Mostly A: a Gigolo

If man is by nature a hunter, your partner has an arsenal at his disposal. Seduction is a way of life for him, women are prey to nab at any cost. While it’s true that love is worth any compromise, are you sure it’s really love?

Maggioranze di risposte B: Irrequieto

Tendenzialmente fedele, il tuo compagno vive però a volte problemi di conflittualità interiore. In parole povere, se dovesse capitargli l’occasione, difficilmente se la farebbe sfuggire. Stai quindi all’erta e non ti fidare mai delle apparenze.

Mostly B: Restless

Essentially faithful, your partner sometimes suffers from inner conflicts. To be frank, if the occasion comes along he’s not likely to let it get away. Stay alert and don’t ever trust appearances.

Maggioranze di risposte C: Fedele

Il tuo compagno è decisamente un tradizionalista. Il suo sogno è quello di vivere tranquillo, con una bella famiglia e tanti figli. Difficilmente ti tradirebbe perché verrebbe tormentato dai sensi di colpa.

Mostly C: Faithful

Your partner is definitely traditional. He dreams of a quiet life with a nice family made up of lots of kids. He’s unlikely to cheat because he would undergo the torment of a guilty conscience.

Related resources:
www.tuttocorna.it
The one-stop portal for cheating, includes handy how-to guide.
alibi.hypermart.net
Italy’s first cyber-alibi service for would-be Casanovas.

A new use for age-old dialects falling by the wayside: insults. “Without shame!”* was the affront hurled by teacher and author Marcello D’Orta at diet guru Alma Manuela Tirone on television. The case went to the Italian supreme court where D’Orta avoided heavy libel damages because judges reinforced the importance of dialectical expressions. “The use of strong and stinging expressions–even if objectively offensive– which represent a social reality worthy of attention such as dialects cannot and should not be punished, ” judges sentenced.

http://web.tiscali.it/confessionile/parolaccia/parolaccia.htm
Insults in dialect from various Italian regions….

*"scurnacchiata." Dialect from Campania region, corresponds to "svergonata" in Italian.